Okays, Jordan Marie sed I cud put sum uf her pee-mails to Ant Chris on my blog, so here goes. First, yoo haf ta unnerstand dat ‘ants’ refers to da kitty-cats (I fink) dat live wif Mizz Jordan Marie.
“Dear Miss Chris,
You can use my pitcher and message to warn good doggies everywhere to be ready fer da emotional ride a buttbed brings to da house.
1. Man at door wit box( fur me of course!) … Excellent ! Eberybody yell Helloooohowareya!
2. Opening box in kitchen… Yay!! Hurry Hurry!! Gimmegimmegimme..
3. Watching buttbed grow… WOW!
4. Mommy pulls it out… .Put it down! Put it down! Lots of jumping in da air and yelling ! Mineminemine!
5. Rolling off it, stomping on it, smooshing it an draggin it around wit my bone in it …Dis is livin da life!
6. Den, da stoopid big butt ants come out all yawny and stretchy like its any of der bizness…Mom says I gotta be nice ( like I’m gonna defur to them) cause we all need to get along and my ants are old as dirt. They climb into my buttbed an I am fur-rious cause dey ain’t gettin out!
7. I will share wit my twit brudder Peewee cause Mom says he dosent have all his crayons in his box, but I ain’t happy bout dis ant sharing bizness. Like, when we play littleball, Mom throws da ball OUT and I run an bring it back to her an she says “Good Job! When da ants play hairball , dey throw it UP and Mom jumps off da sofa to catch it an she says Oh #@$WTF an dat dosn’t sound like Good Job to me. I’m not being catty, I’m jus sayin….
So, Mom will order today an she says don’t worry cause der are a hunnert places fer me to gets my beauty sleep and dat I am always a teeny bit pawsessive about everything in my universe. In fact, if you need my help wit your new pupster, I’ll give her a fur-st class lesson in how to be a good doggie an not a pot roast.
Thank you fer lovin me,
Jordan Marie”
